Speaking of China Blog

Source http://www.speakingofchina.com/
Description Jocelyn Eikenburg, a white girl’s blog on being married to an Asian guy
Extras I think she was interested in China before she met her husband. Goes to prove that there are white girls out there that just like Chinese culture and Asian guys

I came across this blog while doing my research and it is a fascinating story as you piece together the blogs posts of Jocelyn, who seems to be in love with everything Chinese.

She posts help reader get a better understanding of what it is like to live in China, and specifically the perspective of an American girl living life in China. As with most Asian communities, knowing people is your key around the social circles and trust and communication and evermore important to sustain deeper relationships.

That being said, I couldn’t help but find fault in this particular blog post about how to meet white girls in America.

Going back to school, going natural or going ‘public’ all seem like good ideas to pick up girls from the wayside of society and as a dating coach I cannot agree with this passive form of meeting American girls.

The completely opposite way of doing it would be to actually become cool enough as a regular guy in the states. You don’t have to stick it out by going to the bar everyday and practicing your game, eventually getting so good that you become a full time dating coach (like this guy). But you want to start developing a social circle and start making friends from all ethnicities.

As I detail in my more dating-oriented blogs and forum posts, the idea is to become cool enough to generate an attraction towards you that makes ANY girl think in this process:

Meet –> Cool guy —> Happens to be Asian –> Cool guy –> Sexual Guy

Instead of

Meet — > Asian Guy –> Stereotypes come true –> Starts thought process of negative stereotypes in girl — > Not getting laid

Of course, this changes with the 2-5% of white girls who actually LIKE Asian guys. But remember, like the Nerdy cute girl, who ends up going for the most alpha nerd of the group,  these types of white girls usually go for the best looking, coolest Asian guy she can find. Trust me, I know 😉  Therefore, it is usually in your best interest to become as high value and cool as you can irregardless.

One thing I should mention is that the definition of “cool” totally changes between Chinese and American culture.I’ll give you a sliding scale example. Take a look at the dude on the right in this video. His meek demeanor might seem “cool” to kawaii Asian fan girls, but actually comes across as annoying as hell to American girls (and guys):

Now, even the celebrities are drawing a thin line. Jay Chou is just masculine and talented enough. I also think Khalil is very, very talented, but there’s some incongruence here with his look (awesome song though)

You have to be a little more masculine and rougher in the States to have the same “pull”. This is why martial artists are the ONLY ones right now who have public recognition in the US as sex symbols (also thanks to Bruce Lee). Them and perhaps half Asian models like Russel Wong (who’s also a martial artist) and Daniel Henney, the half Korean Asian model. These guys hit the “hunk” bar. Most Asian guys are just “cute enough”. Here’s Russell Wong in one of his few public interviews:

The degree of masculine energy should definitely be calibrated to match your personality. In general, attracting white girls in the states requires a higher level of masculinity. Especially the hot club girls.

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2 Responses to “Speaking of China Blog”

  1. Thanks for featuring me on your blog, and for giving your own perspective on some of my own writings.

    I definitely see where you’re coming from in your criticism of my advice on that post, especially after talking with the Asian Playboy himself (including an interview which I will be posting later), which happened after I put this up there. It’s certainly fair to say that, if an Asian guy wants to be attractive to American women in general — and not just the women who are already predisposed to seek out Asian men — he’s really going to have to step up his game in the ways you describe, including becoming more masculine in his appearance and demeanor.

  2. alphawolf
    January 10, 2011 at 12:49 pm #

    Hi Joceyln,

    Thanks for reading my post and thank you for writing your very insightful blog!

    Looking forward to your interview with Asian Playboy he’s always got great insights on dating here in the US.

    Learning pickup and becoming attractive in the way I described is a lot of work, and there are always that percentage of guys (and Asian guys) who refuse to play that game. As such, they tend to meet girls via online dating sites or through church / family friends and eventually marry someone. I have seen friends do this with great success and also not-to-great results.

    I think your points and advice would benefit these guys and they are pretty valid. My MO has been to push the boundaries of what is ‘attractive’ for Asian men as a whole and hopefully see this trend evolve.

    I guess is that, however that there will always be some percentage of people that will go about it the hard way and others will remain within their social circles. DJ Fuji, Asian playboy and others like us are just here to help those that want to become attractive to ALL women.

    Cheers,
    AW

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