How I Pick Up White Girls – Part 1

By now, there is tons of information out there about how to pick up white girls. It’s practically a stereotype, even while it tries to work on some level to break down stereotypes. The crazy thing is that all of these sites have girls saying exactly the same thing: “I’m white and I like Asian guys!”

The walls are coming down, my friends! But if it’s actually true that people are putting aside their preconceived notions and admitting their attraction for each other, why are we still hearing about it all over the internet?

Because Asian guys aren’t out there living it. Face it, there’s only so many ways a girl can say, “Sure, I think you’re hot and you seem interesting, why don’t you call me?” before she loses interest. If she has to keep convincing you that you’re worthy, she’s going to move on to someone who is a little more confident. So here’s how I do it:

1) Figure out once and for all that I’m a pretty good specimen of a human being, and I own it.

2) See a white girl. See her smile at me. Decide the smile does not mean, “Oh look, an Asian guy, how weird.”

3) Speak to the white girl. Say normal, commonplace, everyday type things to her. Try not to be amazed when she says normal things back to me.

4) This next step is crucial: exchange phone numbers AND call her. I realize that’s a two-step process there, so don’t forget that last part unless you’re really just into hoarding people’s phone numbers.

5) Go out with said white girl after you call her, because why would she have given you her phone number unless she wanted you to ask her out?

6) Get married, have babies.

WAIT. There were a few serious steps missing in between steps five and six, and I didn’t want you to think that step six happens at the conclusion of the step five date. It’s good to wait a while before bringing up the marriage-and-impregnation topic. Like, a year, maybe two…

So get out there, meet some girls who are seriously just sitting there hoping you’ll say hi, and have fun!




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